Baking with AT
“I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou
How do I make someone feel something? It seems like common sense that I can't make someone feel something, yet somewhere deep inside me, I have a belief that if I just say this or do that, maybe I can! It's the people pleaser in me. But when combining this quote with the Alexander technique I realize this is not the most effective or powerful use of myself!
The truth is, I don't know how I make someone feel something. I can't set about forcing it to happen. It's something that arises from my connection to the person, from my whole being and the ever-changing state I am in during our interactions, and from their whole being. It has as much to do with their receptivity as my own.
I have found this to also be the mindset required to go about anything using the Alexander technique principles.
Before discovering the technique, I was under the illusion that I could make things happen and to some extent I could and still do if I am completely honest. I can shape musical phrases the way I believe is best. I can convince people to follow my lead. But is the result the 'best' it can be? When I go about making things happen, my musical phrases are limited by my own imagination and come at quite a heavy price to my body and I am often exhausted and racked with insecurities and frustration about my musical leadership.
So ideally, rather than forcing musical phrases and pulling rank, I would look after all the ingredients required to bake my loaf of bread rather than the loaf itself. I would consider how I am using my own body and mind. I would consider and be kind to my whole being and all that is happening in my life in this moment. I would be receptive to the other people around me and their influence and input. I would be aware of my place in this bigger world and at the same time open to myself and my life force and inspiration. And from this place, much like a loaf of bread, the musical phrases and influence arise and are much larger than anything I could make happen.
So if I apply these same ideas to my people pleasing tendency, if I would look after all these things, how the other person feels is simply a byproduct of my being completely aligned with myself and moving from a place of benevolence, and ironically, it actually wouldn't matter so much anymore!
Journaling prompts: Are there areas in your life where you are forcing things rather than allowing them to arise? What could be the ingredients you look after rather than focusing on the end goal?
