Who am I?
“The privilege of life is being who you are. The challenge of life is finding out who you are.” - Carl Jung
This week I got to teach violin to eight students at my old music conservatorium. It was an incredible honour to come into contact with these young, vibrant souls and a wonderful opportunity for me to experience how far I have come since my days of studying there.
When I completed my studies, in 2018, I thrust myself back into the life of a full-time freelance musician, only to find myself crippled with injury, once again, within a few months. This time I heeded the call of my body and found my way to the closest Alexander technique training school. What started as an oasis from an hectic life, slowly became the place that I longed to be, and by the end of my studies, in 2024, I was prioritising AT over my career.
Now, in 2025, I don't have my training course to motivate me and I also don't have much freelance work anymore due to the decisions I made in these last years, and this is not always an easy situation to be in. In my postpartum state I often wonder if I made a mistake and how I can return to my old life.
But the experience of teaching these students last week gave me a huge encouragement to keep going. It feels like one of the first times in my life where I calmly allowed myself to be. Sharing the message that underlies Alexander technique, that I am enough as I am and you are enough as you are, is very healing for me. In the stillness that arises from this work, I experience who I am underneath all the tensions and ideas of who I ought to be. There is no greater privilege.
Journaling prompts: What is an idea you have that may be getting in the way of who you are? Where in your body does this idea manifest? What would happen if you were to drop the idea?
